More than Unbroken

Along with his day-job, my husband is a farmer. My family has been amused over the years as I have learned what it takes to be a farmer's wife. I had little interest in such things before we met. However, I knew one concept: you harvest what you plant. It would be silly to expect squash seeds to yield a crop of okra. The same is true of life. We will always reap a harvest. The crop is up to us. This can seem a bit daunting sometimes, but we are warned in the Bible to be mindful of every word and action. Someone is always watching, especially if you are a parent! I want my kids to see me live authentically unashamed. I want my actions to be worthy of them copying. Pastor Chuck used to say, "the grass is greener where you water it." I love this illustration. In a world of "right-now gratification," this is a gentle reminder that good things take work. Most people think, "if I can only ___________, my life will be better." This isn't the case at all. ...

This past week marked one year since I began putting my words out into the world.  I've thought a lot about my first year as a "writer."  It hasn't been the journey I expected, but it's been worth every step. One of our dearest family friends, also a writer, shared something so real with me when I was in the first few months of this new calling.  To paraphrase, she summarized the writing experience as putting out something as dear to you as a child to be examined by the whole world.  I now understand what she meant in those words.  Some weeks, it feels like I have such a divine revelation, and I am bursting at the seams to share God's word, only to be met with little or no feedback.  Other weeks, it seems like posts that are the least relevant get the most attention.  And every week, I learn something about the journey. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Over the last year, I have lear...

Have you ever been asleep when, all of a sudden, you felt like you were falling and jerked awake? Falling is scary. Sometimes it hurts. It can cause wounds and scars that forever mark us.  I’m an expert faller. It’s been a wonder to me that I haven’t fallen down the stairs at work because I spent several moments falling down the halls and stairs of my high school. Even as a teacher, I have fallen down on the ground. Sometimes, these stumbles happened in front of students. I usually laugh with them and hope that they forget about it.  They usually don't.  The thing is the more I try to keep myself from falling when it’s happening, the worse it is. My arms flail about as I try to maintain my balance and postpone the inevitable.  Eventually, I quit trying and fall anyway.  And it's usually much harder than if I hadn't tried to stop myself. So let’s talk about what we do when we fall in life. We are not infallible, which means we are all capable of falling from time...

Yesterday, as I was driving home from Atlanta with my younger son (he had a taekwondo tournament), I enjoyed listening to two of my favorite preachers: Jentzen Franklin and Steven Furtick.  Ever had a moment when God smacked you in the face with a revelation from not just one or two, but THREE messages? Pastor Furtick was talking about the "thorn in the flesh" experienced by Paul.  Pastor Franklin spoke on what to do when you're running on empty.  All of the messages stirred up my spirit and encouraged me in such a huge way.  Although I won't repeat what they said, I'd like to share the insights I received as a result of their obedience to sharing God's Word. It is no secret to you at this point that I have been struggling. Let me be clear. I spoke about my weaknesses as a human being to shed light on a topic that Christians often feel they cannot discuss. I used to suffer in silence. Now, I name the attack for what it is so it can't have the same power ov...

I saw the best shirt today online.  It read "Heaven is my home.  I'm just recruiting."  How are you recruiting others to know Jesus and make Heaven their forever home? Literally.  Sometimes we get so caught up in everything around us (me too!), that we forget our primary mission is to go and tell the world about Jesus.  Life happens.  Disappointments come.  We get lost in ourselves.  Friend, this is where I've been for a few weeks.   With that being said, I can gladly report that God is moving and fighting my battles for me.  He is my source of peace when the chaos and darkness of this world presses in to steal my joy. Thank you for your prayers.  They have been felt as Holy Spirit has strengthened me every day and reminded me that my work on this earth is primarily for the glory of God.   Don't get me wrong.  I love being a mom and wife.  But if I am not being the woman that God has called me to be, what ki...

Life gets real sometimes, and we have to address life before we can move forward. This is the raw, unfiltered Jill. I’m not asking for sympathy, but I know that part of what God has asked is that I be “undone” or unravel myself to the world. Expose the heartache and truth of my day-to-day struggles so that others can see that my journey is far from perfect. It’s messy, uncertain, emotional. But God told me to share. Expose it all. So I will obey. It’s been a hard week. If I’m being honest, it’s been a difficult few weeks. My anxiety levels have reached new heights as I’ve confronted what feels like attacks from every area in my life. As a teacher, life as I've known it has changed so drastically since COVID.  We are in the middle of it all, trying to adjust to what is expected and have more expectations laid upon us every week.  My husband is a funeral director, and, as the wife of someone who works in funeral services, I can assure you that COVID has completely changed his re...

Photo Credit: Chloe Alexis Photography It’s time for me to be vulnerable. Not for my own sake, but for others. Many of you may be surprised to learn that I have battled with depression and anxiety since my early twenties. I don’t share this information lightly or flippantly. The enemy has used my mind and emotions as a battlefield, and he has been relentless lately. I recognize the attack for what it is, and I feel it is necessary to shed light on mental health and how I personally have been able to overcome the struggles I have faced in staying emotionally and mentally well. My journey into the darkness was not overnight. Step by step, I ventured into a place within myself where I believed the lies of the enemy that I was worthless, a burden to my family, and that the world would be a better place without my existence. Fortunately, God put people into my life, including my amazing husband, to counter-attack before I learned how to fight for myself. But I have experienced the hopelessn...