Practice the Pause

I read this comment on a social media post this week, and boy did it resonate with me! Last weekend, my body finally forced me to stop, rest, and give myself margin. It’s no secret that this is something I struggle with. Those that know me well know that I feel compelled to participate in activities that are important to me personally in addition to saying yes to help those in need. I’m still learning that the word “no” can be used as a complete sentence. In reference to the titular quote, however, this pause encourages something more than just taking “me time.”

Truthfully, I lose my emotional and vocal filter when I am stressed. It’s easy to lash out, especially at those that I care about. My frustration is exhibited in quick remarks and knee-jerk reactions that may be justified, but aren’t necessarily Christ-like. It’s an ongoing battle with this flesh of mine. 

Practicing pause in this instance means taking a moment to breathe before reacting to a harsh situation. Does this mean that you ignore an issue? Absolutely not! It does require some thought and a conscious effort to decide how to approach predicaments in moments of high stress. My initial reaction may not be the best approach. Sometimes, it’s necessary to pause. Step back. Count to ten. And logically decide how to forge ahead.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

This charge from James is relatively simple most of the time for me due to my desire to avoid conflict. However, I, like everyone else, am human. I miss the mark some days. I react rather than think through. Usually, this is due to my stress level and frustration with situations that seem out of my control.

The saddest part about my knee-jerk reactions is the fact that it is typically directed toward people that I care about rather than the source of the conflict. Don’t get me wrong. There are days that I react in what is considered normal behavior within family dynamics. But when I allow negative issues from outside my home to impact my behavior toward my family, it’s time to pause.

If I’m being honest, my stress level has decreased immensely since my job change, although this new job has come with its own challenges. As a family, we are in a season of transition as our older son experiences his final year of school, and there are so many emotions tied to this. The holiday season is quickly approaching, and the busyness will overtake me if I don’t practice the pause. 

Besides my relationship with my Savior God, my family is the greatest joy in my life. If I don’t practice the pause every day, they will receive the worst instead of the best of me. They deserve my best. My mind deserves peace. So when that tension arises, don’t be surprised to see me step away. Understand that I’m practicing the pause.

© Jill Cook and Unbroken & Undone Ministries.  All rights reserved.

 

P. S. Today was spent pausing with my favorite women including my precious Grandmother and Aunt Joan (her twin sister) who will be celebrating their birthday this week. These are the moments that matter in life. Practice pausing in them.