Silence is Golden

The tongue can bring death or life… ‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭21‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Words have power. I have some deep scars where the words of others left their mark. Because I recognized the power of what we say at a young age, I am quite practiced in the art of silence. Now, for those who know me, allow me to clarify.

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. (James‬ ‭3‬:‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

In the heat of anger, we sometimes say things that can never be unsaid. Those thoughts have become words that will hang in the air until grace finally pushes the pain aside. As a teenager, I experienced some not-so-nice exchanges of words with my parents. We said things we regret and wish we could take back. But the words hit their mark.

I love to talk! Especially to myself; I happen to be a great listener. But if I don’t think through some of my conversations, I could end up wounding another soul and crushing a spirit. Sometimes, this can be exhausting as I try to navigate difficult conversations in a pleasant way.  That’s when silence becomes golden.

Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. ‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. (Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭28‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Sometimes, you don’t have to say everything that you’re thinking. Sometimes, it’s okay to not insist on being right. Sometimes, there just aren’t words for a situation, so you don’t need to say anything. 

When we recognize the power of what we say, it changes how we respond in situations. And, with practice, we learn when it’s appropriate to speak and when to say nothing. 

This goes against what the world says. We are encouraged to “speak up.” Don’t misunderstand me, here. I am not suggesting that we should silently suffer or sweep things under the rug. What I am saying is that it is wise and best to walk away from a situation before you speak into it, especially when emotions are high. 

And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. (James‬ ‭3‬:‭10‬a NLT‬‬)

So how do we control the tongue and learn when not to speak? Ask yourself if you would say to a stranger what you are about to say to a loved one. If not, don’t say it. Would what you are about to say upset the other person at an inappropriate time? Don’t speak. Could the words you are about to utter essentially ruin your relationship with that person or damage it in some way? Zip those lips. Consider the motivation behind your remarks. Are they positive or meant to hurt the other person? If you aren’t sure, perhaps you should think about it until the timing is right to talk things through. 

Over time, as you check yourself before uttering a word that can’t be taken back, you’ll find that silence becomes easier. Consider how you can make silence an intentional practice in your everyday life. Words have power. Choose them wisely.

© Jill Cook and Unbroken & Undone Ministries.  All rights reserved.