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I Blinked

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. (3 John‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

I’ve been on autopilot for a few weeks now. It has started sinking in that I have an adult son who will soon be graduating. At this point, he has worked so hard that he is simply going through the final motions of last days, prom, and graduation itself. Wess is so driven, and he is already working in and growing the business he has decided to pursue.

Bryson is growing up, too. It’s almost as if overnight, my boys are men and I feel I am staring into the unknown world of empty nesting. Lyndon would say I’m crazy because even as I write this post, Bryson and his friends are at the house making plans for the day. In fact, I’m going to have to hide my leftovers from lunch if I want to eat them for supper. Such is life with boys!

I find myself turning inward a lot and trying to rediscover the things that I didn’t have time for when my kids were younger or when I was teaching theatre. Let’s just say my book list has grown exponentially. I knew this time was coming. Yet, I know distracting myself makes it easier to deal with on a  day to day level.

Of course, I also realize that neither of my boys will be leaving soon-and their friends will, I hope, remain a permanent fixture in our home. Still, I have spent my time as their mom preparing them for independence. Now that they are independent, I’m not sure how I fit into the dynamics of their lives.

This is new territory. Uncharted waters. Just when I think parenting is figured out, I receive the “Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200” message.

Trust me when I say this is not a pity party. This is just the raw emotions of a mom who has done her job keeping her children alive (and Wess has certainly tried me on this one), raising them as well as I can (they love each other and actually spend time together for fun), and teaching them about Jesus.

My greatest dream growing up was to be a mom. I had a pretty amazing example. My mom and I are still close, but, understandably, the relationship has changed. I have no idea how this is going to look as a mom of boys. But I know God only loaned them to me, and I trust HIM to keep them, even when I am not around.

I’m not dreading the promotion into mom of adult children, but I just don’t want to think about it. Instead, I’m trying to savor every last moment of having both guys under my roof. The family dinners that have grown as more friends join us around the table. Of appreciating the firsts and lasts for both of them. Because I blinked, and everything changed.


© Jill Cook and Unbroken & Undone Ministries.  All rights reserved.



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