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Perfectionism and Procrastination


Lately, my Instagram feed has been inundated with videos to determine if I have past trauma or adult ADD. Just a simple quiz and $30 per month can help me unlock the tools I need to be more productive in my personal life. After the free quizzes, I discovered that I do have unresolved trauma, adult ADD, and likely suffer from a new medical phenomenon that keeps me from losing weight.

Obviously, I recognize the fallacies behind all of these advertisements. While some people definitely deal with significant issues that debilitate them on a weekly, if not daily, level, I know that this is not the case for me. There is no magic formula to make me want to clean my house, which is why my husband has lovingly gifted me with a phenomenal cleaning lady who cleans every other week. I will inevitably wait until the last minute to perform tasks that I don't want to do. This isn't new; I've done it since high school! I always flew through my English and grammar homework and saved math for last (apologies to my math friends, but it wasn't fun for me!).

On other levels, my perfectionism peeks out. I'm not generally "Type A" unless it's something I care about very much. If you ever attended a performance when I taught theatre, you saw the result of hours of behind-the-scenes labor and stress over attention to detail. My family suffered greatly during show months! I have transferred this perfectionism into the ministry, which isn't what God wants. He doesn't expect perfection. He just wants availability.

The Bible has a lot to say about availability. I love the words of Isaiah when he says "here am I; send me." But what resonates with me most is the calling of the disciples of Jesus.

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed Him. (Matthew 4:18-20)

What incredible faith for these two men who had spent their lives earning money as fishermen to drop everything and follow Jesus. They certainly weren't the most learned disciples. Simon Peter had tremendous temperament issues. But they dropped everything. They didn't wait. They didn't wonder if they were perfect for the calling. They just followed.

So, through my perfectionism and procrastination, I am reminded again that Jesus doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called. We have each been appointed to serve in some capacity every day and to follow Him in all things. Are you available?


© 2024 Jill Cook. All rights reserved.

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